when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
