im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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