Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Sponge bath it is.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
