9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
