Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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