i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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