if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I FOUND THE LEGS
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
