Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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