you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
