I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
