i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
