Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
