So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
