I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
