angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
