why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
