bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
