these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
