At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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