How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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