In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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