Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
