she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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