i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
