I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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