I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
