Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
