It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
