it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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