Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
