I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
