you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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