Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize