Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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