1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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