I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Randomize
