how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
