she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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