Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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