I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
