People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
