He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Fuck appropriateness.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I came so hard my ears popped.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
