I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
