Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
