Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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