even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
