I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
