It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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