i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I have fence marks all over my body
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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