your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
