make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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