i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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