When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
