porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
