Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
